A couple months ago I visited the Omaha’s Health, Wellness, and Fitness Expo and while there I picked up a can of “Sugar-Free Verve!” to try. This product says that it is “the insanely healthy energy drink” and also says it is “a radically different sugar free dietary supplement,” so you know it’s gotta be great, right? I mean, just check out how rad the can is:
Tubular, duuuude! Ahem, anyway… this drink is made by a company called “Vemma” and according to their website, they really care about you:
Making a positive difference starts with people helping people.
This is our mission. Founded by BK Boreyko and his family, Vemma’s parent company, New Vision®, is a revolutionary leader in health and wellness. With over $1 billion in total retail sales, this company helped pioneer liquid nutrition over 13 years ago by introducing the #1 selling liquid mineral supplement in North America.
Investing all the lessons learned over the last twelve years in product research and business concepts, Vemma® is primed to make the same intense impact.
After thirteen years and over a billion in sales, our mission isn’t over, it’s just beginning.
We want to enrich the quality of your life.
Super… let’s give it the old college try! Upon opening the can you’re treated to a sight of an opaque orange liquid that resembles fruit juice. Taking a look at the ingredients, we can assume it’s Mangosteen Juice mixed with various minerals and other fun stuff (Aloe Vera gel… sweetness!). Well, I won’t keep you in suspense, it tasted horendous. Just really, really bad. It was very sweet, almost too sweet, with a hint of fruit (btw, Mangosteen is an interesting taste, I much prefer it mixed with another fruit juice). I couldn’t take more than one sip, so for me, I won’t be buying this again.
Now, this is the fun part of the review… when looking at the can, some interesting ingredients caught my eye. Thallium? Thorium? Why are these listed as ingredients, and further more, why are they listed as part of the “Proprietary Plant-Sourced Mineral Blend,” anyway?
Well, for starters, let’s take a look at what’s in here:
Beta carotene, Ascorbic acid, Cholecalciferol, d-alpha tocopheryl acetate, thiamine hydrochloride, riboflavin, niacinamide, pyridoxine hydrochloride, folic acid, cyanocobalamin, d-Biotin, calcium d-pantothenate, selenium, Taurine, Caffeine, D-Ribose, Inositol, Choline Chloride, Guarana, Mangosteen, Aloe Vera, Green Tea, Carbon, Calcium, Sodium, Sulfur, Magnesium, Chloride, Bromide, Fluoride, Iodine, Potassium, Niobium, Aluminum, Iron, Phosphorus, Silica, Manganese, Boron, Strontium, Titanium, Tungsten, Copper, Zinc, Tin, Zirconium, Molybdenum, Vanadium, Chromium, Selenium, Nickel, Cobalt, Lithium, Gallium, Barium, Yttrium, Neodymium, Hafnium, Cadmium, Thorium, Antimony, Cerium, Tellurium, Beryllium, Samarium, Dysprosium, Erbium, Bismuth, Gadolinium, Cesium, Lanthanum, Praseodymium, Europium, Lutetium, Terbium, Ytterbium, Holmium, Thallium, Thulium, Tantalum, Germanium, Gold, Platinum, Rhodium, Rubidium, Ruthenium, Scandium, Silver, Indium, Water, natural flavors, citric acid, potassium sorbate, xanthan gum, sucralose and malic acid.
Yum! Let’s take a closer look at some of this stuff (I just picked a few… feel free to check out others):
Thorium: A chemical element with the symbol Th and atomic number 90. As a naturally occurring, slightly radioactive metal, it has been considered as an alternative nuclear fuel to uranium.
Thallium: A chemical element with the symbol Tl and atomic number 81. Thallium is highly toxic and is used in rat poisons and insecticides, and its use has been cut back or eliminated in many countries. It is used in murders and has the nicknames “The Poisoner’s Poison” and “Inheritance powder.”
Lithium: A chemical element with the symbol Li and atomic number 3. Trace amounts of lithium are present in the oceans and in some organisms, though the element serves no apparent biological function in humans. Nevertheless, the neurological effect of the lithium ion Li+ makes some lithium salts useful as a class of mood stabilizing drugs.
Gallium: A chemical element that has the symbol Ga and atomic number 31. Gallium has no known biological role.
Yttrium: A chemical element that has the symbol Y and atomic number 39. Yttrium has no known biological role, though it tends to concentrate in the liver and bones. Yttrium compounds which are soluble in water are considered toxic, while insoluble compounds are non-toxic.
Halfnium: A chemical element that has the symbol Hf and atomic number 72. Compounds that contain this metal are rarely encountered by most people. The pure metal is not considered toxic, but hafnium compounds should be handled as if they are toxic because the ionic forms of metals are normally at greatest risk for toxicity, and limited animal testing has been done for hafnium compounds.
Antimony: A chemical element with the symbol Sb and atomic number 51. Antimony and many of its compounds are toxic. Clinically, antimony poisoning is very similar to arsenic poisoning. In small doses, antimony causes headache, dizziness, and depression. Larger doses cause violent and frequent vomiting, and will lead to death in a few days.
Sounds tasty… good thing they have a warning on the can:
Recommended 1-3 Verve a day and don’t drink it if you’re pregnant, have a medical condition or get an allergic reaction. Keep Verve in a cool, dry place out of direct sunlight.
Have a medical condition? Such as? That’s pretty vague… I guess it helps them in the long run. For fun I decided to color in all the elements listed on the can (including ones that are in there based on other ingredients, for example, Hydrogen and Oxygen because it contains water):
Nice, huh? Of the 114 elements listed, this drink contains 69, or just over 60%. That’s truly amazing… and that’s not to say other foods/drinks don’t have a lot of elements in them, but this is the most I’ve ever seen listed on an item.
Now, I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but just glancing at this makes me pretty certain neither is the creator of this drink. So, in conclusion, if you’ve ever had a hankering to eat a wedding band (Gold, Silver, Titanium, Tungsten, Platinum… doesn’t matter, it’s in here!) or were wanting to consume almost 70 elements in one shot, this drink is for you. Otherwise, I’d steer clear.
For anyone who is wondering here are the nutrition facts (I’m a nutrition minor so I was compelled after making this to figure it out) They are for if you use Canola Oil and if you use Skim Milk.
776 calories
48.9g fat
80.4g carb
17g protein
The exact breakdown is as follows:
flour: (.25 cup or 4 tbsp): 114 cal, 0.3g fat, 23.8g carb, 3.2g protein
sugar: (4 tbsp): 186 cal, 0g fat, 48 g carb, 0g protein
egg: 1 large: 74 cal, 5g fat, .4g carbs, 6.3g protein
cocoa powder: (2 tbsp): 25cal, 1.5g fat, 5.9g carb, 2.1g protein
canola oil: (3 tbsp): 360 cal, 42 fat, 0 carb, 0 protein
milk, skim (3 tbsp or .1875 cup): 17 cal, .1g fat, 2.3g carb, 1.6g protein